Engagement is a significant step that combines hearts, lives, and spiritual paths. For Christian couples considering this commitment, here are 20 vital questions to explore together.
These questions are designed to ensure that both partners understand each other’s values, expectations, and faith deeply before taking the next step.
1. How do we handle disagreements in a way that honors God?
Discuss strategies for conflict resolution that reflect Christian values like forgiveness, patience, and understanding, ensuring that your approach strengthens rather than strains your relationship.
2. What are our expectations about church attendance and involvement?
Aligning on church participation is crucial as it forms a big part of spiritual and community life. Understand each other’s current practices and future expectations.
3. How important is prayer in our individual lives and our life together?
Explore the role of prayer in each other’s lives and how you envision integrating prayer into your relationship, emphasizing its importance in decision-making and daily interactions.
4. What are our views on tithing and financial stewardship?
Financial matters are a common cause of contention. Discuss your beliefs and practices around tithing, saving, spending, and managing debts, aiming for a mutual financial philosophy.
5. How do we view the roles of husband and wife in our marriage?
Talk about your expectations and beliefs regarding the roles and responsibilities in your marriage, including leadership, decision-making, and household management.
6. What are our beliefs about parenting and family planning?
Whether and when to have children, adoption, and parenting styles are significant topics. Ensure your views align or that differences can be harmoniously reconciled.
7. How do we support each other’s spiritual growth?
Consider ways to foster spiritual development individually and as a couple, including participation in church groups, retreats, or couple’s devotions.
8. What role do our families play in our lives and our future marriage?
Family dynamics can significantly influence a marriage. Discuss the involvement of your families in your life and set boundaries if necessary.
9. How do we handle external pressures or crises in faith?
Understanding how to support each other through doubts or external pressures is crucial for maintaining a strong, faith-based relationship.
10. What are our views on intimacy and purity before and after marriage?
Ensure that your beliefs and boundaries regarding physical intimacy align, respecting each other’s views and upholding shared values.
11. How do we manage our careers alongside our marriage?
Balancing work and marriage is a practical discussion that involves career ambitions, relocation possibilities, and work-life balance.
12. What’s our approach to hospitality and serving together?
Discuss how you both feel about opening your home to others and serving in your community, reflecting your shared values of generosity and service.
13. How do we resolve differences in doctrinal or theological beliefs?
Identify any differences in your Christian beliefs and discuss how you can respect and manage these within your marriage.
14. What are our expectations for lifestyle, such as living arrangements, and social life?
Lifestyle expectations can cover a range of topics from where you will live to how you will spend your leisure time. Make sure these are compatible or find a compromise.
15. How do we plan to handle holidays and family traditions?
Merging family traditions and deciding on holiday spending can be sensitive topics. Plan how you’ll navigate these together.
16. What is our stance on debt and financial management?
Understanding each other’s current financial situations and attitudes towards debt is essential for planning a future without financial surprises.
17. How will we ensure we maintain individual friendships and interests?
Discuss the importance of maintaining individuality within your relationship, including keeping friendships and personal interests.
18. How will we handle the expectations and influences of our church community?
Consider how your church community impacts your relationship and how you will interact with these expectations as a couple.
19. What is our understanding of forgiveness and reconciliation in a marriage?
Discuss how you will handle mistakes and forgiveness, ensuring that you have strategies to reconcile and move forward together.
20. How do we envision our lives together in 10, 20, or 30 years?
Long-term planning not only aligns your dreams but also checks your compatibility over life’s long haul, covering aspirations, retirement, and legacy.
Addressing these questions honestly and thoroughly can help lay a solid foundation for a blessed and happy engagement, setting the stage for a strong, faith-filled marriage.
